Four More Days

Yesterday was Dan’s (actual) Birthday. Since I have no money, it was pretty relaxed. We made dinner together, had cupcakes from Flour Bakery, and spent the rest of the evening watching movies, and relaxing. It was nice, I hope he enjoyed it as much as I did.

I haven’t touched my sewing machine since Sunday. Monday, I drafted a new pantie pattern for some beige tricot I picked up. Tuesday, Dan and I discussed our One Year Plan and made some pretty big decisions that involve a move for one of us. I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to stop talking about the life that I want, and just start living it. I think we all have visions of how things could be ideally, but we keep putting the steps to getting there off until tomorrow. I’m getting old, Dan is getting older, I don’t want to wait anymore. I’m very impatient.

It’s almost time for Dan to leave. I’m feeling really unsettled about this. We became comfortable way too quickly here, and I don’t handle change well. We have a plan, but it’s scary and involves a lot of change. I am excited about it but scared parts of our plan won’t work out. What if one of us can’t find work? What if…? What if…?