Birthday Time

Has it really been another year already?

Tomorrow is the big day… Canada Day and my birthday!

This year feels like a big one. Thirty Five. 35.

Thirty Five is the year that your doctor informs you that your fertility is quickly declining and you are becoming of advanced maternal age. I joke, of course, but I have to admit I’m feeling the pressure of aging despite the fact that I also feel in the best physical health of my life. I’m active, I’m running, I’m feeling pretty good! But I’m also struggling with certain things, like a recent diagnosis of PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) which is causing me to worry about my weight (needlessly, but it is a constant source of anxiety for me) and of course that constant question of whether or not I will (or can) have another baby.

This is a question I never considered. When I finally decided that we would have one child, I thought that would be it. It wasn’t until the last year or so that I really started thinking honestly about having a second. I love my life right now. Isabel is amazing and I can’t imagine life with another one of her running around. I’ve talked a lot about my thoughts on only having one child, but I’ve had some things happen in my personal life lately that have me reconsidering…

Stressing about grown up stuff is no fun… fertility worries, a new car payment, Isabel starting school, plus my usual neuroses has had me all out of sorts.  When I get in these slumps I find it so hard to focus on any specific task. I’ve been in the process of revamping my Grace & Bambi Patterns, two of my very first patterns, but I have had such a hard time just keeping my thought process running in a straight line that it’s taking me much longer than usual. My creativity runs like a fast flowing stream with millions of little tributaries running off in all directions… One thing leads to something else, which leads to another thing, which ends in nothing ever getting done.

So, I’m trying to get back to what I did two years ago, when I was in one of the deepest depths of my depression and anxiety… allowing myself time to do the things I like. Making new things when the inspiration hits. Taking pretty pictures. Eating chocolate cake. Picking wildflowers. Making the time to run or do yoga. And writing.

I’m also taking vacation for the first time since Isabel was born (she’s almost 4!). We’re going camping, just for two nights, but I’m looking forward to disconnecting and spending a few days in the woods.

And of course I’m running my annual Birthday Sale! Pretty much everything is 20% off. No coupon necessary in my Etsy Shops, but you can use coupon code Birthday20 to purchase patterns directly on my website. Sale ends July 4th!